Boundary Setting 101

(10 tips for being more intentional with your time and energy)

Many of us are simply not great at setting boundaries, and for a myriad of reasons. Perhaps we grew up in a family, religious or social culture with set rules and expectations on our time and energy. Or, we’re currently in a work culture that prides itself on long hours, no lunch breaks and little sleep. Maybe we spent years in relationships where a partner’s expectations around time spent socializing with friends or ‘together time’ were different from our personal needs. Or maybe you were like me, where you attempted to be all things to all people: the perfect daughter (or son), the best employee, and a romantic partner who could address their spouse’s (or significant other’s) needs without being asked.

All that translates to is saying ‘yes’ to everyone else’s needs except your own, letting other people set expectations for you, and being so unclear on your personal boundaries that you start to feel like you’re walking around like a wobbly glob of JELL-O, conforming to everyone around you.

For the recovering people-pleasers, the perfectionists, and the well-meaning helpers, here is a starter guide for understanding and setting boundaries for yourself in all areas of your life.